Tip #1 Observe

When modes are triggered in a therapy session or on a ward, we start by observing: “Which mode is active at this very moment?” ....................

Tip #2 Slow things down

Modes can be very powerful, making it difficult to intervene. Paradoxically, when modes are triggered, we need to slow things down!

Tip #3 It's in the details

How do you determine which mode you have in front of you? The answer is, it’s in the details!

Tip #4 Talk the talk

How do you talk to clients about their modes? We use the “mode language!”

Tip #5 Walk the walk

Different modes require different types of interventions. We adjust our interventions depending on what the client needs.

Tip #6 Dance the dance

How do you turn a struggle with modes into a dance? You start by meeting the client where he is.

Tip #7 Feel the music

To really dance with modes, you need to feel the music. You need to be in touch with emotions, the client’s emotions and your own. ....................

Tip #8 Amplify it

Sometimes, we need to amplify the emotions that are connected with the client’s modes. We start by listening for “the music of the modes.”

Tip #9 Get real

The very most important thing in working with modes is to be ourselves, to be genuine, authentic. But what exactly does being authentic mean, and why is it so important? ......................................................

Tip #10 Share it

Self-disclosure can be a powerful technique when handled properly. We want to be genuine with our patients. But how far can we go in sharing our emotional reactions or even personal information with them?

Tip #11 Show it

How do you build mode awareness?  When clients are emotionally triggered, we want them to stop and say to themselves, "Hey, am I in a mode right now?"

Tip #12 Tell it

How do we use narratives - stories - to help patients understand their modes; how their modes developed, and the role they play in their dysfunctional life patterns?

Tip #13 Seek it

How do you conduct an assessment, looking for repeating patterns, and weave that information together into a coherent whole?

Tip #14 Map it

How do you make a 'mode map,' a visual representation of someone's modes in the form of a diagram?

Tip #15 Choose it

Have you ever wondered when you should work with early maladaptive schemas, and when you should work with modes? Some schema therapists work with schemas, some with modes, and some use both concepts. Which should you use?

Tip #16 Don't feed it

How can we help people to break their repeating, dysfunctional patterns? When patients' modes are triggered, they often confuse the modes for reality. Then they act on their perceptions in ways that reinforce the modes. 

Tip #17 Bring it

When our modes are triggered, we need to slow things down, and embrace whatever we are experiencing. Only then can we choose freely. Do we want to perpetuate our dysfunctional modes, or break old patterns, and exercise our Healthy Adult mode? 

Tip #18 Find it

Wouldn't it be great if our patients could use their strengths to face the challenges in their lives? Unfortunately, people often aren't aware of their strengths, and don't use them when they need them the most.

Tip #19 Grab it

How can we help patients "grab" their strengths? Like the young King Arthur, who pulled a sword out of a rock and became king, we want our patients to grab hold of their strengths and use them as a source of power.

Tip #20 Build it

How do you build "Islands of Strength?" Islands of Strength are areas of good functioning in a person's life. When patients come to therapy, they are often struggling. Creating even a single Island of Strength improves patients' overall functioning and well-being.

Tip #21 It's the little things

How do you help people put their strengths into practice in their daily lives? It turns out that it's the little things! I show you how to help patients make small changes that, over time, accumulate into big ones.

Tip #22 Do the Tango

How do you move smoothly between working with strengths and modes? You need to "do the Tango!" No dancing skills are necessary!

Tip #23 More is less, less is more

Positive Psychology is essentially about empowering patients. This raises an important question: who is the change agent in therapy? Is it the therapist who causes changes in the patient, or does the patient change himself?

Tip #24 It's a journey

Every life has its ups and downs. Reframing a patient's life as a voyage normalizes their experience. Moreover, it provides them with perspective. They can see their life tasks more clearly, and know how to use their strengths to move forward.

Tip #25 Find the wind

Getting your emotional needs met is like feeling the wind in your sails. You feel full of energy, propelling you forward on your life's voyage. How do we help patients to get their needs met? They need to learn how to "tack their boat into the wind."